Raising 2

Now having a hyperactive 2-year-old and a dependent baby on just me solely, exhausted doesn’t even begin to explain it. Getting up with feedings and still providing the attention my oldest needed felt like a juggling circus 24/7.  When I was breastfeeding my oldest, I had to go back to work at my restaurant job when he was 6 months old. Their dad was lazy and did the bare minimum, so I did what I had to do to take care of my baby. Unfortunately, due to that I dried up quicker than I wanted to and it killed me. I got him on a holistic breastmilk alternative (it was not formula) but it still hurt me that I couldn’t do it until he turned a year. I told myself; I am going to do everything to be sure my second baby gets breastfed for a whole year. By the time he was just 8 months old, he started to say words! I was blown away as my oldest was delayed in his speech. I thought, wow this baby won’t have the struggles his brother had, and I was overjoyed for him. We were able to move into our very own one-bedroom apartment. We gave the kids the room and we slept on the pull-out couch in the living room. As sad as that sounds, I was just happy to have a space to call my own. I was able to breastfeed him until he was 13 months old! But then something terrifying happened. He regressed when he was about 18 months old. The eye contact was lost, the speech stopped and he seemed to be a different kid on the inside. All hope of him having less struggles than his brother was lost. And I was frightened for what was ahead of us.